Gazing at my Januarys + something about mom

In between the first few lazy days of the year, I was telling myself that I would start on a lot of personal projects. But my actual mood conspired to revolt and made January a month of pep talk without the actual walk, which was dissatisfying.

There was a period in my life that my January would be defined by fitting into the mold of a new scene. I was job-hopping and free-flowing into a new environment in circles, so I had to become like water who takes the shape of anything that contains it.

But this year’s January was different. I still get the occasional job interview invite but none made sense because I could not even imagine not being where I’m at. If I’m to compare this January with the rest, the past ones felt like a current while this one seemed like the earth. This January can taste flat but it firmly held my feet. It was grounded.

Mom

My mom turned 60 years old last month. My mom, if I will try to describe her, is that kind of person who is prone to say unnecessary things. In a taxi, if a driver will ask her what turn to take before an intersection, she’ll first reply with “there!” instead of a clear left or right. At home, when she’s asking you to find something for her, she’ll yell “IT’S THERE!” as if we have an internal GPS to trace the precise location of “there.”

When you get sick, you better go self-medicating if it’s not fatal because you’ll sure hear a lot when she discovers and it’ll always be your fault, or your bad posture’s fault, or your cellphone’s fault, or maybe even karma at work.

I learned to digest all sorts of comments from my mom at a young age that proved handy. Naturally, I expected her to lash out and go full demon as I planned how I would reveal my first pregnancy. I was only 23, I wasn’t married, I was the breadwinner, and I just got into this new job. She was playing Plants vs. Zombies when I placed a hand-written letter on the keyboard to interrupt her. She opened it and I still remember seeing her curl into a small figure as she sobbed, and then she gave me a tight hug.

I might not always agree with her but I love her. Pero nasaan ba ang nandiyan lang, Ma? πŸ˜‚πŸ‘Œ

Mang Carling

It’s still a mystery to me how people last for more than five years in a single company. And Mang Carling is someone who has been staying for four decades and counting. He is a few years from a hundred years old and he seems to be beaming. How can a person be so frail, old, has probably lost so many loved ones to time, yet still be happy?

If I get to live long, I want to be that kind of human who can pull optimism out of that, which I don’t understand yet. The definitive goal is to live long and still be in love with life despite all of its risks.

***
Oh, I got a newsletter from Under Armour: Introducing the Bra with Confidence Built In. πŸ’βœ¨ ~BIG WORDS, bruh. Does it come with attachable/detachable boobs?

I really find retail marketing dramatic because you don’t have to make perfect sense, you just have to be memorable. This is one of the businesses that use the most powerful words, although they usually mean little. It’s a creative outlet for consumerism that I also utilized for a living. I don’t hate it though because there is pleasure in telling a story about products who can’t speak for themselves, and well, aren’t we all a sucker for well-expressed words?

P.S.
Did you spot the cat in the photo?

I might make cats a regular thing in my designs.

~ Chime in! β™«

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s