Smaller is Stronger Sometimes

I used to “work out” a bit. In my previous job, I used to spend time waiting for P to pick me up by walking to and fro at the mall – reading labels, comparing brands, and even trying on clothes if I was too lazy to attend the evening classes at Gold’s. But I was lazy most of the time so brisk walking at the mall was roughly my definition then of a fitness regimen.

I am quite lucky that people consider my size to be “okay” for someone my age and with two kids. My arms and legs still look usual but you can tell by the loose skin around my stomach that I bore lives already.

Yes, it’s not a bad thing at all. But the sensation of my skin pouring out of my pants does not make me feel good about myself either. When I try to fit in my old corporate clothes, my stomach feels like a punishment for all those mindless jiffies of extra rice and late manic dinner at fast food stores. I get this compulsion to press on my loose skin until it hurts a bit just to slightly punish myself. Yes, it is dumb and I understand that it’s pointless. After all, we are supposed to do something about things that make us dissatisfied.

……

June 3:

I went on a “yoga date” with Irene. It was supposed to be a 4-hour hot yoga workshop but it just turned out different. Instead of moving through the poses in a 40 °C room, the instructor had the fan turned on and the doors were opened so the air-conditioning will breeze in. Midway, he had muscle cramps so he told us we’ll stop doing the sequence altogether because he’ll just explain things.

It was weird and funny on certain moments but it was mostly boring. We might not have sweated out at all and I swear that my pits stayed dry – it was that chill, which is not what Hot Yoga was supposed to be. In the midst of all the theoretical talk about the poses, I almost fell asleep in a sports bra with my back against the cool wall. At the end of the day, my friend and I hung out at Madison Commons to catch up and maybe to celebrate(?)

We capped off the night with a cold brew and milkshake to punish ourselves for that pseudo-hardly workout.

Pizza & Pasta at PiPa. This was us. We looked like food exactly. We chugged these down with milkshake and coffee because we decided to stop pretending we wanted veggies that night.

……

June 4:

I was determined not to let the workweek start without attending a legit class. I told my daughter I would be attending an evening class and she answered:
“Gusto din naman ni Colign magyoga Mama Kim.” (So be warned Papa)

The class that night did not disappoint. It was the best Vinyasa I attended with no exaggeration. A few poses were new to me and God, it hurts like a first Yin session! I especially liked the pose where you’re lying on your back, one knee bent and the other heel positioned on top of it, creating a number four figure. You then proceed with bending the legs down to the floor, towards the side of the bent knee. It was Goddamn uncomfortable. I couldn’t do it without any pain but it strangely felt right.

The Savasana that comes right after is splendid af. The teacher gave us a massage while applying a cool balm that is citrus and tangy. The best part was when you breathe in & out deep. It felt like I was inhaling a part of heaven through my nose and keeping that energy warm inside my body. Like you’d perfectly understand how those thrashed heroes in anime magically become restored just because of the energy of people cheering for them. (Luh)

……

Practice puts brains in your muscles
– Sam Snead

You see, I want to build muscles from scratch and go through the entire discipline of being fit. I do not want to take shortcuts so that when I reach my goal, the routine would’ve been ingrained in my skin. That it would be a necessary body function.

I must also remind myself that I cannot get too heavy for what my backbone can take. The ortho advised me to build abdominal muscles. He said this will help shift the pressure of my body weight from my spine to my abs (my still non-existent abs).

I do not aim for a six-pack. I just want enough muscles that I won’t feel a strain in my back when I’m carrying my child or with every added pound when I step on the scale. I like to think that even for me, it should not be too much to aim for a comfortable body to spend my life in. 🙂

Now, will someone recommend me a good workout playlist? 💪

 

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8 responses to “Smaller is Stronger Sometimes

  1. Kim, the rare times I saw you, sobrang naliitan at napayatan ako sa ‘yo. I never bore lives yet but my stomach area can qualify na :p I shifted to different fitness activities. Tried jogging, but I think my knees are suffering. Going to the gym is nice but expensive. hahaha Brisk walking / mall athlete, I can manage. Yun lang, it feels incomplete kasi I don’t sweat. For some time, I tried this

    can’t find the exact video but I tried the 4-mile challenge

    It worked for me, except that I felt sandbags tied around my thighs for 3 days. Medyo boring lang kasi ulit ulit.

    As for the playlist, K. drama ang pinapanood ko while having exercise at home :p

    Like

    • Gusto ko din sana magworkout sa bahay. Kaso each time I do push-ups at plank, sinasakyan ako ng anak ko or hihiga siya sa ilalim ko! :)) Minsan din pag naka half moon, inaabangan nya yung pagtaas ng legs ko para magattempt na sumabit!

      Like

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