01/2015 1st week: Collecting pieces of what could be

I had been the busiest bee at the onset of 2015. The first four days of the year were spent in a hospital, looking after my mom who was confined due to food poisoning. Until then, I never thought spoilt food could ever be so fatal because I was notorious for accidentally consuming them. Dumb that it was, I never understood that it could lead to anything serious until the recent incident with my mom. (But everything is okay now and for that I am grateful.)

It’s sad that things have not been faring well for other family members. One uncle is set for an eye-removal operation, another relative is one of the missing crew of the China-bound cargo ship that sunk in Vietnam, and a recovering aunt contracted back her cancer probably due to depression over her missing brother.

I can see everyone is hoping for better things. But it’s sad to come clean that when we hope, we also permit disappointment to slowly eat on us. For the past years, I learned how it’s very human to despair before we move on because we often have weak control over matters of the heart.

On quiet moments, I sometimes wonder if my uncle’s wife would see every ocean as a reminder of solitude – a thief that claimed his husband as its own. I wonder if she’ll be able to see water as something different from tears. Because frankly, I think I will. The thought immediately makes me sad because I am a wife and I know I’ll never be prepared.

Well, this is my 2015 so far. I would’ve loved to talk more about how happy I am about the changes I decided on but I just don’t feel that it would be appropriate at the moment.

For now, I wish everyone in the family finds the peace of mind and strength that they need. I hope they all maintain their courage.

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5 responses to “01/2015 1st week: Collecting pieces of what could be

  1. I’m sorry to read all you and your family’ve been going through and really sorry for your loss. Once again, life is unfair and like always one thing after another. I believe you have amazing days ahead during the year though it was a tough start. I know it sounds silly but if there’s anything i can do, please let me know.

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  2. Ako naman I have been surrounded by unexpected deaths… a high school batchmate died of the complications of dengue (all the more i hate dengue now because it killed my 24 year old colleague two years ago) .. when I got home, a neighbor about my age passed away because of heart attack… tapos the son of another colleague passed away pala last Xmas…
    sana naman, good news for us over the next weeks… medyo nakaka-trauma eh.

    as for the relative, sa paternal side ba?

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    • When mom was in the hospital, the other patient who was sharing the room with us was suffering from dengue. She was the same age as me and her mom told us na they’ve been there for almost two weeks na. Dengue is really scary and it just has its sneaky way of reducing your platelets to a fatal level. Nakakalungkot nga recently ang 2015 naten, pero sana eto na ung worst.

      For the relative I mentioned, puro sa side ni mama.

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